It’s only yesterday that I said good bye to the visitors for Veteran’s day and it’s the third day of Chanukah! Sometimes life flies and we all have to do a double take. I will be catching up with my blog as we eat left over latkes.
Here comes a story of one Shabbat gone wrong. That often happens when one mistake of the past piles on another one more recent and then is combined with a random strange event in the present.
Coming from Charleston, SC I did not realize how early Shabbat comes in Virginia in the fall. Scheduling a follow-up doctor’s appointment at 3:30 pm on Friday I thought that will leave plenty of time for Shabbat.
I thought I am quite ahead by cooking on Thursday, setting the table, cleaning up the house and doing the laundry. I am getting better at timing all that. Yet that appointment was my mistake #1.
I did not figure in the Daylight savings time and that fact that on November 9th Shabbat started at 4:42 pm.
My husband works on multiple projects at work, some of which are classified. Classified buildings have no access to regular email and he can see only emails that come from his official work email. My doctor’s appointment reminder went to the wrong calendar. It was tied to the wrong email and he did not leave work till 3:30. We came to the Dr. Office at 4:10. Here goes a mistake #2.
From now on I make sure that my calendar is connected to every email address associated with my mishpocha. Sitting in the doctor’s waiting room I got a lecture about never scheduling an appointment on Friday. It is quite safe to say that these first two mistakes will be avoided in the future.
The next mistake is connected to my extended family. Here comes to point of this blog. What happened next is not so easy to avoid or predict.
The appointment to the Dr. was set three months prior to that day. My first cousin once removed who lives in New York, called me in the middle of the week before that. She planned a visit to see our new house over the long Veteran’s day weekend. She could come on a bus arriving at one pm or at 5:30 pm. Knowing about my doctor’s appointment, I advised her to arrive at 5:30. So we will bring in Shabbat together even if it’s already dark. It’s the thought that counts after all. We all compromise around our less observant relatives.
My husband was not happy about my rational about compromises, yet he was understanding about the time change or that fact that busses have a schedule. Maybe that was my mistake #3. That is not very important because my next mistake is more crucial.
We all have relatives we disagree with about politics. We have some who we find mishugane. Some that have too many children when they lack parenting skills, other’s that have pets they view as children, and some that are Sheigets who mock our observants. Those are the relatives we remember how to deal with.
The aunt that was visiting is the relative that is always late. We all have relatives that show up last. This particular person was infamous for being late to planes, trains, and busses going long distances. I have missed a train from New York to Charleston in the 90s under her tutelage. In the scheme of things with relatives this is a shortcoming; however, which is a lot easier to forget than a recent fight with someone else.
So here comes the mistake #4. The aunt missed her bus! She was not arriving at 5:30 pm. Now she was planning to take a bus to Washington and use the metro to Fairfax station. Her projected ETA was 8 pm. We learned that in the car on the way to pick her up straight from the doctor. Husband turned the car around, went home and we brought in Shabbat. We lit candles, said our Brachot, ate dinner. And got back in the car.
Mistake #5. Not enough diapers to last till the next Amazon shipment. We already violated enough mitzvot, what’s one more we go to the store. Husband is hurrying me to finish shopping so we are at the Fairfax Station by 8 pm.
We make it there early. Mistake #6 actually belongs to my husband. My daughter started fussing tired from her long strange day. The husband turns on Benny Freedman playing Shabbat music for the entire parking lot. He forgets that the music is tied to the headlights and is running off a car battery.
Finally, my aunt arrives at the station. We have never used the metro at that point. To the question of North or South, left or right getting off, I have no answer. I have trouble explaining to her how to find us. My directions were mistake #7.
The baby is screaming in the car. My aunt is mad at me schlepping bags all over the station and 3 parking lots. The car battery is dead. I am running around the parking lot trying to find my aunt. The husband is on the phone with his insurance to get the battery jumped while the baby is screaming.
By the time we are all in the car by 10 pm. Everyone is mad at me. Yet by the time we get home, everyone is cooled off, happy to see each other. My husband says: “Baruch Hashem, this happened now and I know to check the battery out before it snows.” The toddler is making faces at my aunt. We all look forward to bed and the Shabbat Veteran’s dinner the next day.
So, what’s the lesson of the day? We can always minimize the mistakes we make, but we can’t control the ones made by someone else. And in every disaster, there is a blessing. Our car batter is fine and ready for winter. We had a chance to learn Fairfax Station and go to Washington by metro.
I am getting better at Shabbat and other Chagim.
Most importantly, I am developing the mussel called patience a lot faster then my chore mussels and I am fine with it. We need to remember the lessons about the Mishpocha especially well in the Holiday Season. May Ha’Shem bless us all whichever ones we celebrate.
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